Much Ado About Matching
by Pocky King Windy
Summary: *Slash* Glorfindel, Elladan and Elrohir try to matchmake Elrond with Legolas, but things get awry when Thranduil gets in the way... Rated R for characters singing rock-songs! ^^; *COMPLETED* THANKS EVERYBODY!
1. Part One - Three Is Not A Crowd

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien and his heirs (I wish I were his heir, too!) and the fanfiction belongs to Windy, who happens to be broke with a naughty dog to eat his food. So don't sue Windy, okay? He'll make you a cookie?  
  
Warning: This material contains slash and a little bit of OOC. More towards the book than anything else… (^^;) If you've only watched the movie and you're confused, that's okay. No need to worry so much about it! Just… Kick back and relax?  
  
__________________________  
  
  
Part One - Three Is Not A Crowd  
  
  
"There is something bothering this elf, dear brother."  
  
"Indeed, for I have not seen one so… preoccupied before. Especially *that* one. It would seem to me that he is one who would hardly think, being already full of the knowledge he has earned in his lifetime."  
  
Glorfindel glared at the twin brothers through his golden brows. They stared back at him, and broke into a grin.  
  
"I too, have a brain. I can think, thank you very much for your kind concern," Glorfindel replied to the unasked question, with all the dignity he could muster. The twins' mouths twitched before the fell over, howling with laughter.  
  
"So, just what have you been thinking of?" Elladan lifted a dark brow at his father's old friend. "You have been poring over… things lately. What of?"  
  
"Knowing you it must concern our oh-so-great-lord?" Elrohir was merciless in his jest. He loved it when Glorfindel was rendered speechless. Glorfindel looked at the twins and shook his head.  
  
"You might guess right, but there is more about your father than meets the eye."  
  
"There is," Elrohir grinned devilishly. His brother snickered. "It appears that he has succeeded in captivating his steward's heart."  
  
Glorfindel favored them with one of his beautiful snorts. His slate blue eyes flickered over them deftly.  
  
"Such perverse thoughts… I might think that what I have seen in the Lady's mirror reflects in your mind."  
  
"What have you seen?" Elladan asked; his curiosity roused. Glorfindel smiled at him.  
  
"I have seen men looking into boxes with moving pictures. They have somehow connected the small box below into a crack of wall, and then they get into a certain thing called a "website". I've seen pictures of elves and *men*," Glorfindel shuddered; "together and kissing. I have read the words of man depicting images of our lord 'snuggling down' with that dratted Isildur. And some were wonderfully satirical, depicting MY beauty and charm, my wonderful, golden hair, my sparkling blue eyes, my - "  
  
"We know of the wonders of housing Glorfindel," Elrohir shook his head. He nudged his twin, and they gave each other meaningful glances. "What of our father?"  
  
"Well," Glorfindel swallowed, taking in the limelight; "Well, it seems to me that nearly all the writings have one thing in common - they are written usually by ladies as well as enjoyed by them, as the Lady of the Wood enjoyed reading them - but it boils down to one thing; and that is that the lord of Rivendell is lonely."  
  
"Lonely!" Elrohir exclaimed. "I've never noticed that!"  
  
"What do we do?" Elladan asked. His mother had suffered, but surely something could be done to ease his father's pain!  
  
Glorfindel grinned. That was the question he wanted to hear. He had devised a wonderful plan (as were all his plans; they were either wonderful or fantastic), and the twins were to help him execute it.  
  
"Hear now," Glorfindel grinned; "We'll write a letter to Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, who is known for his charming beauty…"  
  
"You've seen him before?"  
  
"On the 'Internet', yes," Glorfindel was impatient. Elladan goggled at Glorfindel.  
  
"What is the 'In-tuh-net'?"  
  
If looks could cow, Elladan would have been cowed. He shifted uncomfortably under his friend's gaze. Glorfindel took pity on him and relented. "It's in a strange world with a lot of strange folk. Many people enjoy this thing called 'slash'. One rampant writer is good in writing Legolas with some human, but so far she has blissfully stayed away from writing about our lord. But is will that be so, when this odd blond boy keeps telling her that our lord is 'pretty', 'wonderful', 'has a great smile' and 'brilliant gems for eyes'? He deems himself as 'evil' and laughs funny."  
  
"Laughs funny?" Elrohir was amused. "Such slang!"  
  
"How does it sound?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know… It goes like, meow hoo, hoo, ha, ha, ha!"  
  
The twins burst out laughing. It was comical indeed to hear Glorfindel laugh like that. They sobered and Elladan urged Glorfindel to continue his scheme.  
  
"Well, we'll write a letter to Prince Legolas. Of course one of you will have to forge your father's writing, and compose a beautiful sonnet to enchant this young prince, bidding him to come to our land. We must make them meet, and hopefully, our good lord will fall head over heels for this sapling."  
  
"What if he rejects our father?" Elrohir was rather critical. Glorfindel merely smiled.  
  
"Trust me, he won't."  
  
________________________  
  
  
Elladan sat at the table, frowning hard over the paper he had been provided. Sonnets did not come over his mind often, though he was brought up in the way of the elves, even after a life of hunting orcs alongside humans. He drummed his fingers on the tabletop and hummed a short tune. He caught hold of the melody, and began to compose the letter with handwriting identical to his father's.  
  
"Oh, gold the sun, the good sweet sun! Like the hair the flaxen rays are!  
Your eyes the sky blue and free ~ mixed with a shade of amethyst and robin's egg!  
I have seen your beauty; come to me!  
For I cannot but dream from afar…"  
  
Elladan sighed and put the quilt pen down. He stared at his brother and beckoned to him. Elrohir stepped over, smiling at his brother's plight.  
  
"You may change the second line, dear brother," he observed; "and yet preserve the same meaning… 'Shades of robin's egg and amethyst…'"  
  
"Ending with a line of 'mist'!"  
  
"And after that says he?"  
  
Elladan grinned wickedly. "I have said all in my verses penned above. I wish to behold you yet again, o child of the sun! My infatuation for you is deep, and you need only come to turn that into love, my sweet!"  
  
Elrohir and Elladan burst out laughing at their evil plan. Their father would not know what hit him. Carefully the twin brothers scented the letter with lavender and rose, and folded it into an envelope, addressing it to Mirkwood. But just as they were to write the name of the one it was addressed to, their father walked in, beaming.  
  
"Ah, it is pleasurable indeed to see you two enjoying the arts!"  
  
The twins jumped and turned to meet their father's gaze. Elladan hurriedly shoved the letter under the stack of Elrond's own. The doing went unobserved by the elven lord.  
  
"We're elves, dear father," Elladan embraced his father warmly. "We love the arts and all it stands for."  
  
"Yes, we compose beautiful words to be loved by all," Elrohir added. He glanced at the beauty of his father and grinned. Legolas would not be able to resist such temptation!  
  
The twins then saluted and left, grinning and nudging one another. Elrond shook his head and wandered over to his work desk. He picked up the letters to be sent abroad and his eyes fell on the last.  
  
"Hmm," Elrond mused; "The name of the receiver is not written. Such carelessness on my part! Let's see; it's addressed to Mirkwood…"  
  
Elrond picked up the quilt and penned down the name of only one person he had ever written to in Mirkwood - King Thranduil.  
  
_______________________  
  
To Be Continued…  
_______________________ 


	2. Part Two - Love Letters

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: Belongs to Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien. I own the fanfiction, though… (^^;)  
  
Warning: Contains slash! But if you treat this as a joke, it'll be fine, right?  
  
Note: It follows mainly the books. But I'm changing some stuff here and there, and all, since uh, the movie cannon… I don't like tall, gigantic Elronds. I don't like tall, gigantic Legolas either… (^^;) None of us do, right?  
  
____________________________  
  
  
Part Two - Love Letters  
  
  
King Thranduil sat sorting out his letters, frowning now and then when he caught messages addressed to his sons, perfumed and fancily written. He did not like this sort of products. A waste of time, he calls them. As much as he calls Christmas 'humbug'.  
  
But here now, today, was something different. Why, it was a letter from Rivendell! And… wonderfully scented? The elven king's eyes narrowed with suspicion. He picked it up, and recognized the writing as that of Lord Elrond's. Yet, why was Elrond, who had hardly spoken but few words with him, sending him such a letter?  
  
Kind Thranduil's heartbeat started to increase. He vividly remembered the days past, when the War of the Ring was still waged. His father, the great Oropher, had declined to join the alliance and fight the cruel war many times, but finally did - and died for it. It was because of that half-elf! Thranduil remembered his father's speech when they were in private, how foolish he was to accept the offer just for the sake of humoring one so fair as the Lord of Imladris.  
  
Ah, those were the days! Before Thranduil had chanced to meet Elrond, already his father had, a few days ere then, told him about that half-elf and raised hope of his son in their meeting.  
  
"He is very fair in countenance," Oropher had said to Thranduil; "His dark hair unlike ours, the elves of the wood. He hardly wears any jewelry, as is accustomed to us elves, for we are fond of such things, but still he looks like a gem; when he smiles, it looks like heaven!"  
  
At that point of time, Thranduil had merely shrugged it off, thinking that old age had finally gotten the better of his father. But now, faced with the situation of this… this sort…  
  
Thranduil gingerly pried open the red-tinted paper envelope, and the scent of lavender and roses, mixed to perfection, wafted past his nostrils. He stared at the carefully penned down writing, and his heart skipped a beat as he read the contents slowly.  
  
"Oh, gold the sun, the good sweet sun! Like the hair the flaxen rays are!  
Your eyes the sky blue and free ~ mixed with a shade of robin's egg and amethyst!  
I have seen your beauty; come to me!  
For I cannot but dream from afar…  
Not when we're realms apart, shrouded by mist!  
  
I have said all in my verses penned above. I wish to behold you yet again, o child of the sun! My infatuation for you is deep, and you need only come to turn that into love, my sweet!"  
  
He sucked in a deep breath, and clutched his head in his hands, his thoughts swimming. He remembered the last time he had beheld the elf-lord… and the more he remembered it, the more guilt he felt. They both had wives, though his had passed away, Celebrian was alive and well, west of the sea.  
  
But then, if Elrond had… admitted to such idle fancies, why should he reject it? Celebrian would not mind it the least, would she? Would Celeborn, or Galadriel deny him his love? Love?  
  
Was Thranduil in love with this foreign elf?  
  
Thranduil set his jaw firmly. He wrote a swift but passionate reply to the letter he had received, and was determined to send only the best messenger to the wonderful realm across - Legolas.  
  
_________________________  
  
"Oh, look! Is that Prince Legolas?"  
  
Elladan and Elrohir both leaned over the frail balcony to observe the younger elf from above. Legolas was very much a vision of beauty, but he had flaxen hair and golden features, unlike the elegant and silky fine ones of their father.  
  
"It seems so," Elrohir answered his brother. He grinned. "He has come, as we had requested in the letter… And our father seems to have received a letter from Mirkwood!"  
  
"I wish we had not set them up," Elladan said wistfully. "I feel bad… I mean; father doesn't even know Legolas! How could he say that he had loved Legolas so long before?"  
  
"Pedophilia?" Elrohir grinned evilly. Elladan countered his brother with a punch on his shoulder.  
  
"Your twisted, perverted thoughts! I'm shocked that I'm even related to you, dear brother!"  
  
"As am I," Elrohir grinned easily. "You're too angelic."  
  
Elladan snorted, very much like Glorfindel's. Elrohir laughed. "You sound like Glorfindel!"  
  
"Indeed."  
  
  
Legolas stared at the dreamlike beauty of Rivendell. He looked around for escorts, and was helped willingly by Glorfindel, who was trying hard to suppress his evil grin.  
  
"I shall escort you to your room," he said; "Come with me, your Highness, and have a rest first. Our lord will tend to you shortly."  
  
Legolas followed Glorfindel, glancing around to catch a glimpse of the Lord of Imladris. His eyes fell upon a figure standing by a balcony, speaking to another elf. Legolas' breath caught in his throat.  
  
The elf was dark haired, a serene beauty. From afar Legolas could see his smile, but the color of his eyes he could not determine. He was robed in white and silver, as was his custom, and on his forehead was a thinly lined and delicate circlet, a star weaved in the middle.  
  
The elf caught his gaze, and beamed at him. The wood-elf nearly fainted.  
  
Legolas walked on, craning his neck to continue relishing his gaze, and all a sudden he walked right into a pillar. He gave an exclamation, as he tumbled down. From above, Elladan and Elrohir howled with laughter.  
  
"He's smitten," Elladan grinned. Elrohir nodded.  
  
"Isn't he beautiful? I saw our father smiling at him… I could almost see the admiration in his eyes."  
  
"You have a wild imagination, my dear brother," Elladan shook his head smilingly. "Come - we must help Glorfindel. Otherwise he will rail at us again."  
  
  
But Glorfindel was merely too happy to see them, forgetting to frown at them for not helping him out earlier. The twins smiled at one another, and nodded at Legolas.  
  
"Welcome," Elladan began.  
  
"To Imladris…" Elrohir continued, "otherwise known as Rivendell."  
  
"We humbly extend our hospitality to you, and hope that you will enjoy your gay - uh, stay here," Elladan grinned. Legolas nodded slightly, still dazed by his fall and by the sight of the strange elf.  
  
"Thank you," he managed weakly, staring around him. "I would like to explore your home a little, with your leave."  
  
Glorfindel grinned. He knew what Legolas meant by 'exploring'. He had given that excuse before too, in order to court in his youth. But aloud he said, "Lord Elrond is awaiting your presence. You may explore a little after your meeting, but I do believe that you would not wish that after the event."  
  
Legolas was confused, but he managed to nod and smile. "Very well then, please take me to see your Lord."  
  
  
"Here we are," Glorfindel stopped at the door, accompanied by Elrond's two curious sons. They were a bubbly lot, and Legolas felt himself enjoying their company. The twins often bickered, but it was all mere jest and good humor on their part.  
  
Legolas stepped into the room, clutching on to the message he had brought. The three stayed behind, and started a conversation about the sky and its fine weather.  
  
Legolas peered around, his keen sight drinking all that was in the room. It was a large library of books, old and new, some as ancient as the mountains itself. His ears picked up a soft humming coming from the end of the room, and he craned his neck to see whom it was.  
  
The figure stood with his back facing Legolas. Black, silky hair cascaded down his shoulders as he bent over a map, humming softly. He was clad in white and silver, his skin glowing as fine as the silk he had on himself.  
  
He seemed to have heard the sound of Elvish breathing, and turned around to face Legolas. The wood-elf goggled at the sight of Lord Elrond.  
  
"You…!"  
  
"Me?" The Lord of Imladris lifted his brows at Legolas. He noted the message in Legolas' hands, and looked up again, into Legolas' eyes. They were a clear gray, in contrast to Legolas' green-blue ones. The wood-elf stared at him in admiration, before blushing and turning away.  
  
"I… I have brought a letter from the King of Mirkwood."  
  
"I can see that," the elf-lord's tone was soothing, and Legolas relaxed, handling Elrond the message. He then looked around, trying to occupy his mind with anything other than the half-elf that stood in front of him.  
  
Legolas noted how different this elf was from the others - he had unusually dark hair and nearly humanlike features, though he truly was magnificent to behold. He was a little shorter than the elves he had met outside, in fact, petite compared to his father. Legolas was a little taller than Elrond, and he stared down at him as he stood reading the letter.  
  
Elrond had paled out. He glanced nervously at Legolas, and back at the letter again.  
  
"Has the King really sent me this through you? Did he deliver it himself?"  
  
"Yes…" Legolas looked worried. "Why?"  
  
Elrond did not answer. He fell to the ground with a loud thud, unconscious.  
  
_________________________  
  
To Be Continued…  
_________________________ 


	3. Part Three - The Tempest

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: Again, not mine. The characters belong to Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien who's going to haunt me for the rest of my miserable life for getting his characters into a fix. The fanfiction is mine. (^^;)  
  
Warning: Slash, slash and yet more slash! WHEEEEEEE! Kumbayah! *Is singing to trees*  
  
_______________________  
  
  
Part Three - The Tempest  
  
  
"I can't believe it!"  
  
The twins hung their heads sadly. They looked up at their flustered friend and broke into rueful grins. "I guess our father wouldn't mind a different companion, would he?"  
  
"My WONDERFUL plan! Ruined!" Glorfindel paid no attention to the twin brothers. He paced around the room frowning. Elladan shook his head and leaned against his younger sibling.  
  
"Well, we need to remedy this, and quickly, too," Elladan said thoughtfully. "What a shame! We thought that they might like one another…"  
  
"Legolas does, at least," Elrohir chipped in, anxious to make Glorfindel feel better. "He might have a chance in this!"  
  
"Against his own father?" Elladan was skeptical. "You've gotta be kidding me!"  
  
"Stop using such slang, dear brother," Elrohir patted his brother's dark hair. "It is unbecoming of your… mature ways."  
  
"Don't forget my piety." Elladan grinned despite himself. Glorfindel turned to the twins and smiled.  
  
"You know, not many people on the Internet like Thranduil," Glorfindel said. "Even Lady Galadriel shuddered at the thought of that pairing written by the strange blond. But he's planned to change the events, to pair up our lord with Legolas."  
  
"That blond human… Windy? Wasn't he the one who allegedly wrote about… Gimli with Legolas?"  
  
"Yes…" Glorfindel lifted a brow. "How did you know?"  
  
"I saw it in our grandmother's mirror," Elrohir admitted. "We peeped in and clicked a link from his profile."  
  
"And he drew funny pictures of our father with Legolas," Elladan shuddered. "He even thought of Mithrandir with our father."  
  
"Well, he is blessed with foresight," Glorfindel said. "I read one of his works, recorded like what we are facing now. If he isn't a god, I don't know what he is."  
  
"Really?" Elrohir grinned. "I heard that he is a slave to his dog."  
  
"His fat dog… What's his name? Zell, yes, Zell."  
  
"I have also read another on a different writer," Elladan smiled. "Our father protected Legolas from his evil family… And he was… you know, pleasure - "  
  
"Uh, uh," Elrohir clasped his palm over his twin brother's mouth. "We will not speak of that. But I know that Windy enjoyed that story very much and wants to coax the author into finishing it."  
  
"He's also enjoyed a 'Western' story."  
  
"Place your hands to the sky, you lily-livered duck!"  
  
"Yah! Die, varmint!"  
  
The twins burst out laughing. Glorfindel shook his head smilingly. "If that is the ways of the land west of the seas, I can see why Lady Celebrian left for it."  
  
"Well, what are we to do about this situation, then?" Elladan asked, finally wanting to get to business. Glorfindel rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"We may try to set your father up with Legolas while he is still here… He's beautiful enough to win your father's heart."  
  
"But what if Legolas resists?"  
  
"We'll try to make him like our lord. If not… it's just settled for Thranduil." Glorfindel stared at the twins. "I'm sure that you would not want your father to be named Mister Elrond Thranduil, would you?"  
  
"Yuckies!"  
  
"Elrohir, dear brother, you sound like a disgusted fan girl!"  
  
"I joined a fan list…" Elrohir grinned. "I'm known as Cyber-Elrohir. Cool, eh?"  
  
"You own a site?" Glorfindel was amused. Elrohir sighed.  
  
"Angel Fire deleted it for 'harmful content'. Some flamer got in my way, and now I'm going to hunt her down and skewer her guts over a roaring pit."  
  
"You should host it in Geocities," Glorfindel suggested, not liking Elrohir looking so disappointed.  
  
"And PAY for FTP? No way!" Elrohir sulkily sat down. "I'm penniless."  
  
"They're charging?" Elladan was shocked. His brother pursed his lips.  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact, they are. I'm so going to delete my email account, too! Can you imagine it! They charge you for forwarding messages!"  
  
"Well, at least we won't get any more forwarded junk," Elladan was optimistic. "But then I'm still getting lots of useless junk-mail. But I get a lot of fan mails from fan girls too! They love me!"  
  
"You're Lord Elrond's son," Glorfindel remarked. "Who wouldn't?"  
  
"Yeah, but that gritty producer made our father less beautiful… There weren't even any shots of us in the background! And they gave all the credit to Arwen for saving the hobbit's life!"  
  
"Me neither!" Glorfindel bristled. "I read the anthology of 'The Lord Of The Rings' about all of us, and I was supposed to be the one to help the human deliver the hobbit to Imladris!"  
  
"That's SO unfair."  
  
"I hear that Windy's going to delete his site from Geocities and host it in a 'Japanese' server. He's going to totally stop writing in 'English', and write everything in either 'Japanese' or 'Chinese'."  
  
"Lack of fan support, I suppose," Elladan shook his head. "No one actually bothers voting nowadays. I more accurately heard that he'd delete everything, sit down and work at home… never to hear of the Net again."  
  
Glorfindel sat up. "Well, let's not think about it anymore. If Windy's going to vanish or move, we wish him the best. Right now, it's matchmaker time!"  
  
Together they sat down, and planned their strategies carefully.  
  
_________________________  
  
  
Legolas strolled along the stream, humming softly to a tune. His mind flashed back to the thoughts that afternoon, when the Lord of Imladris had collapsed after receiving a letter from his father. Legolas blushed, remembering how… naughty he felt when he saw that. How he would like to touch that dark, contrasting locks, and breathe in the scent of dew that seemed to waft past him from the white robes…  
  
He was jolted from his thoughts by two taps on his shoulders. Two dark-haired elves grinned at him, and he realized that it was the twin sons of Elrond.  
  
"We would like you to play a game with us, Legolas!"  
  
"Please do! We are one man short!"  
  
"The Rangers have also come to watch! Some of them are in our team!" Elladan beamed excitedly. "Elendir has come to join us!" At that, a tall, sexy ranger strode across, winking at Elladan. He gave a loud yell and ran after the man.  
  
"Comrade!"  
  
"I wish you wouldn't call me that," the man sighed, but he continued smiling at Elladan. He looked rather fond of the half-elf. "Mayhap you call me by my name, or… more than that formal term."  
  
"Ahem," Glorfindel coughed. Elendir's smile widened as he spied Glorfindel step into view. "The game is about to start - Is Legolas going to join us?"  
  
"Yes," the twins answered for him. Legolas was stumped. "What?"  
  
But it was too late. Legolas was dragged after them to join in the game.  
  
_________________________  
  
To Be Continued…  
_________________________ 


	4. Part Four - Storm Riders

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: AAH! How long will it be after I finish this? Anyway, not mine. They belong to Sir Mr. Tolkien who will turn into a zombie and slash me to death. But he's one resident evil I won't gun down, trust me (^^;) As always, fanfiction is mine…  
  
Warning: Slash, baby! Slash! And World Cup fever with a touch of American football! WHOO HOO!  
  
Note: EVERYBODY WILL YOU PLEASE HOLD HANDS AND SING! KUMBAYAAAAAAH! KUMBAYAAAAAH!  
  
Thankies to everyone who's nice! ^^;  
  
_____________________________  
  
  
Part Three - Storm Riders  
  
  
The cheers were deafening. Legolas looked around him in wonder. He had been brought by Glorfindel and the twins to a hill where the middle was flattened to a field and the peaks were turned into spectator seats. At one side sat elves, dwarves, and men wearing green, and on the other side sat the same races of people, wearing blue.  
  
Legolas scanned the faces of the spectators carefully, and was utterly shocked to see his father and brothers present. Ithilas, his eldest brother, waved wildly at him.  
  
"KNOCK 'EM OFF THEIR A$$ES, BROTHER!"  
  
Thranduil frowned at his eldest son, but it went unheeded as the crowd went wild. He looked around and past the players, to a familiar form down on the field. As usual, the lord of the house stood below to give advice to the players, and to read the rules.  
  
Elrond looked up and met the elven king's gaze suddenly. Thranduil lifted his brows suggestively, causing the elf-lord to blush and look away.  
  
"Well… don't get into too much trouble," Elrond warned his sons in a fatherly tone. Elladan and Elrohir nodded. Elrond turned to Legolas and smiled. "That goes for you too. You're new in this match, but I'm sure you have skill enough to beat the opposing team."  
  
"Yes, my Lord," Legolas stammered. Elrond shook his head and patted his shoulder kindly.  
  
"Come now, just treat this as a game," he said. "I don't mind not winning… Just, Legolas, make us proud of you. Give us your best."  
  
Legolas smiled. He sincerely liked the Lord of Imladris. Elrond was kind and fatherly, unlike his cold and diplomatic father. How he wished that his father had not fallen for Elrond yet! And how he wished that Elrond would look his way, not his father's. What a mess-up!  
  
Elladan grinned at the crowd. The twins were clothed in short, tight leggings, with matching sky blue shirts. They, as usual, complimented each other in their likeness and cheerful spirits. Legolas himself was garbed accordingly, and how the blue brought out his eyes! The female elves squealed at the sight of him.  
  
The participants, mostly consisting of elves, pulled back their long hair into ponytails. Some braided their hair. The humans, some of whom had short hair, spoke to their comrades whist waiting for the elves to finish.  
  
The captain of the opposing team, Bergeron, stepped toward the opposing team with a coy smile. He looked Elladan up and down, and nodded to him. He extended his hand and took the half-elf's in his. Elendir bristled at the sight of that.  
  
"Greetings, captain," he stepped forward, in between Bergeron and Elladan. He glared coldly at his rival. "I see that you have made a mistake in your judgment… again."  
  
"I little have," Bergeron smirked. "I am come to speak to this exquisite little flower of the field. What is your name, pray tell?"  
  
"Elladan, good sir," the half-elf replied before Elendir could stop him. Bergeron grinned smugly at the Ranger and turned to Elladan.  
  
"That is a beautiful name, Elladan," he surprised the team members by sweeping up Elladan's hand and kissing his slender fingers. "Man of the stars you truly are. I can see it."  
  
Elladan blushed and turned to his shocked twin brother. Elrohir was mentally screaming at Elladan to move away, knowing of the inner turmoil it was causing Elendir. Glorfindel looked worried.  
  
Inwardly Elendir boiled with rage. He was here first! He had befriended the half-elf for ten years now, and had not made any move out of his respect to his comrade. And now this… Bergeron! How dare he come between them!  
  
"I shall await you in my chamber tonight, after the match…"  
  
"You will not," Elendir answered on behalf of his comrade with a rather tight voice. Bergeron lifted his brow tauntingly.  
  
"Oh, really?" he asked, smirking. "Elladan has not said that, has he? You will come, will you not?"  
  
"I… don't suppose I could," Elladan replied nervously. "I may have to help my father… to assist the injured ones. Forgive me, but I cannot see you tonight." Or any other time, he added silently.  
  
"So be it," Bergeron glowered, before leaving.  
  
Elendir could not help but to look relieved. He glared at Bergeron's departing form with disgust, and he turned back to Elladan.  
  
"I'm sorry," Elendir apologized. "But he is of the opposing team. I would have liked the two of you to be friends, but… I'm afraid that that is more complicated than I thought it to be."  
  
"Oh," Elladan said. He felt a little disappointed. So, he only stopped them because they were in the opposing team, not because he was jealous… But then, Elendir was a man. It was not their custom to lie with elves, more so of the same gender.  
  
  
The teams made their way to the center of the field, where their positions were meant to be. Elrohir took his position as a goalkeeper, staring worriedly at his twin brother. They were close to one another, and hardly did anything without foreknowledge of the other.  
  
But still, Elrohir didn't know everything that went in his brother's mind. Elladan had been acting rather strange lately, especially around that Ranger, Elendir. He knew that Elendir liked his brother much, but what would Elladan think of it?  
  
Legolas stood fidgeting in the middle of the field. He glanced around to look for comfort, catching the eyes of the females with his anxiety. They thought it to be cute, though it frightened Legolas to death. His forest blue eyes fell on the smiling lord of the house, and he forgot his nervousness for a while. Legolas managed a halfhearted smile, and turned back to the referee, Glorfindel.  
  
"You know what you have to do," Glorfindel chirped happily. "Play nice and have fun!"  
  
He blew the whistle, and the game was on.  
  
  
  
The ball was passed to Elladan, and he moved swiftly forward, dodging the elves and men that came a-tackling at him. He was soon halfway past the center of the field, when a familiar figure appeared before him. Bergeron winked at him, and grinned.  
  
There were only a few minutes left to halftime. Elladan spied his comrade at the corner of the field. He nodded and with his lightning reflexes, the ball was passed to Legolas. Legolas had been the star of the day, then. He had scored a number of goals, each dramatically whizzing past the opposing goalie's nose. The female elves were mad with ecstasy.  
  
But no sooner had Legolas received the pass; he heard a yell and loud thuds. He turned his head and saw, to his horror that Elladan had fallen with Bergeron sprawled over him. Normally, these accidents were lightly heeded, if it wasn't for the fact that Bergeron had his hands strategically poised on… on…  
  
Bergeron smiled down evilly, his hands moving down gently to trace the half-elf's thigh. They slipped past his short leggings and clamped over -  
  
Elendir came forward, nearly roaring with rage. He fell on Bergeron's neck and started to pummel him. Legolas left the ball and moved towards his teammates. Elrohir hauled Elendir away from Bergeron, yelling for Legolas to help him suppress their captain from hurting Bergeron.  
  
"What were you thinking of?" Elrohir shouted at his Elendir. Elladan got up, but he said nothing, rather shocked. He turned away, and fled from the field.  
  
"Wait!" Elendir broke free of the other twin's grasp, and raced after Elladan. Glorfindel sighed. He hated such events.  
  
"I was going to give him the red card anyway," he said, watching Elendir leave. He turned to the squirming Bergeron. "As I would you. Now go clean yourself and feel sorry for what you've done."  
  
"They're only one man less," Legolas said. "We're short of two… Who shall play in Elladan's part?"  
  
"I will."  
  
Legolas goggled at his father. Ithilas came up, grinning. "And I shall play in the man's part."  
  
They turned to face the opposing team, fire in their eyes.  
  
"When the rough get going, the rough get going," Elrohir muttered. Legolas laughed.  
  
"That didn't make any sense."  
  
"It wasn't supposed to," Elrohir admitted coolly. "I know we'll win. They've used so may dirty tactics, I feel mad. If they can do it, so can we!"  
  
Glorfindel grinned at their resolved faces. Elrond had disappeared, trying to search for his son, and he noted how Legolas had looked when he saw that Elrond was missing. It seemed rather quaint a situation, so Glorfindel mused. Thranduil had taken the chance to impress Elrond too.  
  
He blew the whistle again. They regrouped, and Thranduil nodded, giving the signal to begin.  
  
"CHARGE!!!!!" they stampeded, crushing the opposing team like a herd of oxen. The girls were shocked when they perceived Legolas elbowing an elf in the stomach.  
  
  
And they never saw a more colorful game in Imladris.  
  
____________________  
  
To Be Continued…  
____________________ 


	5. Part Five - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: Oh, you know… They were never mine. *Sigh* they belong to the Great Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien. The fiction is mine!  
  
Warning: Slash… And Middle-Earth's own soap opera. Need I say more?  
  
Note: KUMBAYAAAAAH! KUMBAYAAAAAAAH!!  
  
_______________________  
  
  
Part Five - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes  
  
  
Elrond continued to track after the two youngsters, cursing inwardly for wearing so flimsy a material. He did not like to stay to watch Thranduil play, as seeing in him in merely shorts and shirt acted as a natural repellent to the elf-lord.  
  
Stepping in the general direction of the wood clearing, he made sure that his steps were silent. He had no intention of lecturing the youngsters, let alone reprimanding them. A babble of voices floated to his elvish ears, and Elrond strained to hear the conversation. He hid behind a bush, trying to control his breathing.  
  
  
"Elladan?"  
  
"Go away," his tone sounded final. Elendir flinched, hurt. However, he was, like a good many mortal youths, persistent and would not take no for an answer. He continued to step forward, and put a hand on Elladan's shoulder.  
  
"Not until I apologize," he said firmly; "and until you accept it willingly."  
  
"Apology accepted. Now go away."  
  
"Come now, Elladan!" Elendir looked aggrieved. "What would you have me do to look my way again? I would throw myself into the river, if you wanted me to. I would buy front row tickets to a Britney Spears concert even if it would kill me… only if you mentioned of it! I would throw myself in front of a car to get you Michael Jackson's signature! I would defeat Windy McDohl in Counter Strike using a knife if you bade me to! I would cosplay as Misao of Rurouni Kenshin if you wanted me to… no matter how stupid I would look! I would -"  
  
Elrond could not help stifling a laugh as he heard that. It was very direct, whether or not Elendir knew it. And besides, it was impossible to defeat ANYONE in Counter Strike using a mere knife, let alone Windy McDohl. And to by front tickets to a Britney Spears concert was to buy a one-way ticket to poverty. To cosplay as Misao was pure stupidity.  
  
Elladan smiled shyly up at Elendir. "How nice," he said. "Though, I wouldn't think I could defeat Windy McDohl too easily. He's very egoistic."  
  
"I would," Elendir was confident. "Even if he would delete me off his fanfiction, I wouldn't mind… Just to make you happy."  
  
"I thought you didn't like me," Elladan confessed. "I wanted you to get jealous, that's why I answered that Bergeron. But now I know, I was stupid. I'm so sorry, Elendir. But I'm glad of how things turned out."  
  
Elendir laughed. "Now all I worry about is being deleted. I wonder if Windy isn't as evil as he claims to be."  
  
To that Elladan smiled. "It's his birthday, and he's in a wonderful mood. Besides, he had had a nasty cut on his palm and he's too lazy to rewrite the fanfiction. And he's supposed to be mature at the age of 17, not given to anymore violent tempers…"  
  
"He just gets into violent tempers when his brothers mess up the kitchen," Elendir agreed. "Or when they break his flowerpots. Or they gulp down his pie without his knowledge. Or when they sit on the table for dinner without washing their hands beforehand. Or when they feed Zell with their vegetables… Sometimes he kicks the oven when it malfunctions."  
  
"He thinks it's tiresome to bake and have everything gone before he tastes it," Elladan said. "But let's say no more of it, shall we? We must return. It is getting late, and we shall be missed."  
  
Elrond smiled and silently turned to leave. The match would soon be over, and he was sure that he would be needed to heal some of the players.  
  
_________________________  
  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"Victorious," Legolas looked up at Elrohir, who had walked in limping. He took a seat beside the wood-elf, and they exchanged grins. Legolas had received a black eye and a few bruises on his arms and legs, but nonetheless he was satisfied that they had won. They now sat awaiting the main healer to tend to their wounds. Elrond usually tended to his sons' wounds with is own hands.  
  
"Great," Elrohir sighed, sitting back. "We'll get our father to look at our injuries. I seriously thought that I was going to die, seeing your father in shorts…"  
  
"Me too," Legolas smiled. "I'm sorry about the striker. He kicked you, didn't he?"  
  
"So he did. Our good friend the dwarf tackled him down," Elrohir rolled his eyes expressively. "Did you hear him roar? The striker looked as if he were about to faint."  
  
"He did," Legolas laughed. "It's a pity Lord Elrond was not here to witness the game. I wish he did… I wanted to tell him that I did my best."  
  
"Hmm… Elrohir smiled slyly. "You would tell him more than that, I reckon."  
  
Legolas blushed, shifting his gaze to the floor. But Elrohir was set on finishing what they had started, to perfection. He did not want King Thranduil as his father!  
  
"Our father is known for his fairness," Elrohir pressed on, gazing at Legolas' countenance intently. "Have you not read that in books? Have you not heard of it in songs?"  
  
"I have," Legolas admitted shyly. He had been drawn to Elrond, even before he came to Imladris. He had heard of many songs sung, of how the Lady Undomiel who took after her father, was the mirror of Rivendell. Surely one who took after the parent would proof her father fair!  
  
"What think you of him? Aren't you… attracted to him in any way?"  
  
"Well, as a matter of fact, I am," Legolas replied softly. "I really do like him, but…"  
  
"But what?"  
  
"He desires my father so," the elf looked torn. Elrohir shook his head.  
  
"That letter was not written for your father," Elrohir said. Legolas looked up in surprise. "It was written to you, saying of his love for you… our father likes you, Legolas! Surely you can see that!"  
  
"I…"  
  
"Well, our father is to come tend to our wounds. You would have to make him face you, and tell him the truth, for he awaits it," Elrohir grinned. "Take off your shirt, Legolas, and your leggings too! Hurry!" Legolas did just that, even as Elrond entered. Elrohir made it to the door, and embraced his father warmly. He winked at Legolas, and turned back to Elrond.  
  
"Dear father, I am of no need of your service," Elrohir smiled. "Please tend to Legolas. He needs it more than I do."  
  
"Very well, then," Elrond replied, kindly patting Elrohir on his back. Elrohir grinned and left.  
  
"There now, child," Elrond came up to Legolas. As he did, his breath caught in his throat. He beheld the shapely elven beauty, curled up in the snow-white coverlets…  
  
Legolas blushed as he met with Elrond's eyes. The elf-lord coughed slightly, and went to collect the herbs used for healing, trying to avert his gaze from Legolas. However, remembering Elrohir's advice, Legolas pulled Elrond down to meet him.  
  
"I… I have fallen for you, my Lord… You wanted to hear that, didn't you?"  
  
Elrond turned an interesting shade of colors as he stared at Legolas. Why, numerous things seemed to be happening all at once! He gazed at Legolas, certain warmth washing through his veins.  
  
"Well… Yes," Elrond spoke gently, his breath like a delicate feather upon Legolas' cheek. "And thank you kindly."  
  
Legolas replied with a light kiss on the elf-lord's forehead. He buried his head in Elrond's hair, breathing in the dewy scent that was caught in it. They blew the candlelight out, and the room was engulfed in darkness.  
  
Beyond the window, Glorfindel stood grinning alongside Elrohir. They would tell the news to Elladan, once he was… done with Elendir.  
  
________________________  
  
To Be Continued…  
________________________ 


	6. The Very Short Chapter

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: They aren't mine… They're the Great Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien's. Fanfiction is mine, though!  
  
Warning: Slash and Britney Spears. The end! (^^;)  
  
Note: Please do not take this piece seriously. (^^;)  
  
_______________________  
  
  
Part Six - The Very Short Chapter  
  
  
"Wow, I can't believe this!"  
  
Thranduil glared at his eldest son severely, causing Ithilas to cringe. He eyed his father mournfully, and shook his head. "F-a-t-h-e-r! Don't you think it's mean to vie with you youngest son over something? You should make way for him! I mean; unrequited love is normal! And Legolas deserves happiness - "  
  
"He is not the only one!" Thranduil thundered. Ithilas flinched. He knew what was coming. "And besides, Lord Elrond had addressed the letter to ME! Legolas has bewitched Elrond… he doesn't like Legolas at all! And I shall save him!"  
  
"I doubt you can," Ithilas mumbled. Thranduil hit his son's head viciously.  
  
"SAY WHAT!"  
  
"Well, I think they like each other…" Ithilas tried again in his whiniest voice; "F-a-t-h-e-r! C'mon! Give them a break! I'd doubt the strong, mighty and gracious Elrond is susceptible to a mere elf's witchcraft! Surely he cannot be so dense (as you are, although I'm not telling you)!"  
  
"Quit whining," Thranduil smacked his son. "Or I shall sing that song again!"  
  
"NO-OO-OO! MERCY!" Ithilas fell on his knees. "DO NOT SING THAT SONG, BY ELBERETH AND HER FELLOW FRIENDS (doesn't include Barney, sorry!)!!!"  
  
Thranduil looked at his son, and a sly plan popped up suddenly. He grinned at Ithilas, pulling him up quickly to his feet again. The elf, seeing the look on his father's face, goggled at him in horror. "No…"  
  
Ithilas scooted to the general direction of the Elf-lord's chamber, wanting to warn his friends about his father's plan. But his injuries slowed him down considerably, and Thranduil ran after him. "Oh, no, you don't!"  
  
  
The door was flung open suddenly. Lord Elrond goggled at the sight of Ithilas panting and gasping as he limped in.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Glorfindel asked, carefully helping the elf to a seat. Legolas gazed worriedly at his brother, as the twins stood beside their father, wide-eyed.  
  
"You… *gasp*… whatever you do, don't… *pant*… open the door - "  
  
"My dear Lord Elrond!" a thunderous voice boomed over the roof. Thranduil stepped in, stepping cruelly on poor Ithilas' head. The five elves looked at him, horrified. Whatever was he up to? In what danger did he put them?  
  
"I am come to save you, my love!" he continued, not noticing Legolas' advances to pull his brother up. Elrond stared at the elven king in horror.  
  
"But I am in no danger, your majesty," he said humbly, bewildered. Thranduil smiled at Elrond. "Ah, but you are! You're blinded by Legolas' spell, not returning my love as you had asked for! Here I am from Mirkwood, but you welcome me not with kisses and embraces! Are you not bewitched?"  
  
"No, I certainly am not!" Elrond stood up indignantly. "I do not love you! You are dreaming, if not, just fantasizing!"  
  
"How dare you!" Thranduil roared. "You shall pay for this!"  
  
Thranduil jumped up and down, and all a sudden some strange pop music started to ring out of nowhere. Ithilas winced. Elladan suddenly stood up. "I've heard that… Oh, no! Stop your ears, everybody!!!"  
  
"OOPS I DID IT AGAIN ~"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Glorfindel screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! That evil song! DON'T SING IT! I BEG YOU! MERCY!"  
  
"I'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIE!" Elrohir rolled on the floor, choking. But Thranduil heeded them not. He continued singing and dancing.  
  
"I MADE YOU BELIEVE WE'RE MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS~!"  
  
"Don't kill us!!!" Elladan clutched at his throat feebly. He looked like a duck about to die.  
  
"OH BABY BABY! ~"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHKKKKBRPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!" Legolas said, rolling on the floor helplessly. Ithilas did the same. Elrond looked perplexed. He gazed sadly at his friends, at Legolas, and then at Thranduil.  
  
"IM NOT THAT INNOCENT! ~"  
  
"Wait… I'll marry you…"  
  
"Really?" Thranduil stopped. He grinned at the lord of the house. "Thanks. Let's get married tomorrow! Here's the engagement ring!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOO!" Legolas yelled.  
  
But Thranduil paid no attention to his son's anguish. He slipped the ring into Elrond's forth finger and they linked hands. Thranduil then dragged a sad-looking Elrond out of the room to have some 'quality time' together before the marriage ceremony. Legolas stared after them, tear-stained. His brother patted his shoulder.  
  
"There's got to be a way to stop this," he said. Glorfindel shook his head.  
  
"How?"  
  
_____________________  
  
To Be Continued…  
_____________________ 


	7. Part Seven - All's Well That Ends Well

Much Ado About Matching  
  
By Windy McDohl  
  
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. I'm sad… They belong to The Great Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien. This piece contains slash! Please proceed with caution!  
  
Note: Siam Shade sings Junjou Na Kanjou. (That's the 1/3 theme for Rurouni Kenshin). I listened to it for like, 100 times or so till I feel stupid now. But hey! It sure beats listening to the Macarena, right?  
  
________________________  
  
  
Part Seven - All's Well That Ends Well  
  
  
Glorfindel paced around the halls nervously, in wait for the twins and Legolas to appear. This did not look very good - neither of them, save for the kind of Mirkwood, wanted Elrond to marry Thranduil, who most probably would, as he did before, torture them by singing "Oops I Did It Again" again. He'd probably switch to "Hit Me Baby One More Time" or something like that. He might even sing "Black Or White" or even Sailormoon's theme song. Glorfindel shuddered. He didn't want to hear THAT.  
  
Legolas appeared soon after. He was dressed wonderfully (is it the right word?) - in a tight pale-blue tank top with matching denim white jeans. Gandalf had just come from a strange realm called Reality and he had bought those clothes in "New York" to aid his elf friends in their plight.  
  
"You look great," Ithilas chirped, seeing his brother. He grinned. "Just like dad hates - J-Rock!"  
  
"Yes, indeed," Gandalf agreed. He turned Legolas around to inspect the clothes better. "Nice and trendy. That Thranduil may like dressing in drag, but his sons should not! Come; do not be shy! Just do all you can to save our friend!"  
  
Legolas nodded, resolved to save his one and only (~SUTEKI DA NE… Whoops! Sorry!). Ithilas then peered around in search for Elrond's twin sons.  
  
"Where are Elladan and Elrohir?" he asked. Glorfindel nodded. He was rather worried - the wedding ceremony would soon start, and they would be late!  
  
"Don't worry! We're coming!"  
  
The popped out of the room dressed in identical pieces of clothing. Like Legolas, they wore tank tops; but theirs had turtlenecks, and were a darker shade of blue compared to his. Their hair was cut short, reaching the napes of their necks, and their fringes adorably were sliced in a slanting fashion opposite of each other's. They shared grins, and turned to Gandalf for support.  
  
"What do you think?" the asked in unison.  
  
"Your father is going to kill me," Glorfindel choked, upon seeing their blue-streaked hair and pierced ears. "You look like regular punks!"  
  
"Thanks and no thanks," Elrohir said huffily. "I was asking Gandalf his opinion. Gandalf, what do you think?"  
  
"It's fine," Gandalf said amiably. "You look like two nice punks, whether or not Glorfindel approves of it."  
  
"Good heavens!" Glorfindel pretended to roll his eyes, but secretly he was fascinated by their dress code. He vowed to try it out himself after the event.  
  
"The wedding is about to start," Ithilas warned. "We must hurry. The writer is also cooking up another story in his head and he wants to end this quickly!"  
  
The elves and the wizard raced to the courtyard, where the ceremony was to begin. They were to perform on stage for their father in celebration to the wedding, as he had ordered. He had wanted them to sing Christina Aguelera's "Genie In A Bottle", which obviously they didn't want to. Besides, Glorfindel had downloaded a better MP3 and they had practiced for hours now.  
  
Thranduil sat tapping his foot. He stood when he saw the elves, and was horrified. Elrond goggled at his sons' hair and clothes, feeling slightly faint.  
  
"YUUUUUUCK!" Thranduil screeched. "What in the name of Madonna is this? What are you wearing? It's disgusting!"  
  
"Well…"  
  
"Well, never mind! Let's begin," Thranduil clapped his hands and dragged Elrond up. "Go on, boys!"  
  
Accordingly Legolas and the twins got up to stage, amidst of the cheers the elves were giving them. Thranduil nodded, a signal for them to begin. Legolas walked to a microphone, and picked up an electric guitar, much to the surprise of Thranduil.  
  
All at once, the three elves began to play their instruments with the backup help of a few other elves. Thranduil shrieked when he heard it.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! ANIME J-ROCK! RUROUNI KENSHIN! NOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Kowareruhodoaishitemo sanbun noichimo tsutawaranai   
Junjou Na Kanjou wakaramawari I love you saeienaide iru MY HEART~"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT! Stop it!"  
  
But they did not. They continued playing and singing, oblivious to anything else. Thranduil clawed at his face and tore at his hair. His wedding! They were ruining it!  
  
The music drummed on. Glorfindel and Gandalf exchanged grins.  
  
"No Junjou Na Kanjou," Elrond smiled. "Ah, I like that song."  
  
"You CAN'T be serious," Thranduil turned to Elrond, his ears stopped up with his fingers. "You can't like that once you're married to me!"  
  
"But I can," Elrond said. He stared dreamily at Legolas, drinking in the sight of his beloved… (FUTARITEWO TORIARUKETANARA… Sorry.) Thranduil frowned at Elrond.  
  
"Well then, I will not marry you! I will go to Reality and get the hand of Britney Spears… Or Jennifer Lopez… Or Kate Winslet… Or Madonna… Or Marilyn Monroe… Or Victoria Adams… Hey, I might even marry Natalie What's-her-name-again! Bye, Elrond. Go listen to TM Revolution till your brains blow up."  
  
"I will," Elrond replied curtly. "And my brains won't blow up. Goodbye, Thranduil. It hasn't been very nice to listen to your silly singing."  
  
  
Thranduil left. Legolas stopped and hopped off the stage to fling himself at the Lord of Rivendell. The twins above them grinned as they watched the two elves… doing that stuff.  
  
"All's well that ends well," Gandalf commented, beaming.  
  
____________________  
  
The End  
____________________ 


	8. FINAL SHOWDOWN

Much Ado About Matching

The Final Showdown

Disclaimer: Belongs to the Great Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien. Hey, I think that J.R.R. probably stands for J-Rock Rules, you know… XD

Note: It's in tune with several pop/rock pieces. I just changed the lyric, that's all! I kind of like most of this songs – I'm just poking fun at them a little. Need to vent my madness a little! SORRY!

Thanks to everyone who had emailed me, and even reviewers in Fanfiction.net! May you have a great time!

_______________________

== At the time Gandalf was in Isengard ==

Saruman was humming as he stepped up the stairs of the white tower. He had to speak with his old time friend.

"Gandalf," he began, upon seeing the old figure in front of him; "Why don't you give in?"

"Not without a fight! Besides, we're different!"

"Different? How different are we?" Saruman questioned, his eyes burning as hot as the flames that surrounded the Great Eye. Gandalf held his ground. The White Wizard huffed, and then he snapped his fingers. All at once a great army of orcs gathered, and…

Saruman:

"I was out dueling on a Saturday night

I wanted to claw ya and gorge out yer eyes

Ah got that feeling

But it don't matter if yer Gray or White!

Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah – OW – Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah

I just wanna kill ya but

It don't matter if yer Gray or White!

Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah – OW – Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!"

Gandalf:

"We were so fighting on a Saturday night

I missed my dateline meeting with the hobbits

A big d@mn hurdle,

But it don't matter if yer Gray or White!

Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah – OW – Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah

I just wanna get lost but

It don't matter if yer Gray or White!

Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah – OW – Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah

It don't really matter whether yer Gray or White!"

Gandalf jumps off the tower and lands on the budgie – uh, eagle's back and flies away in the general direction of Rivendell.

== Aragorn In Gondor ==

Boromir had been exterminated (like a germ, hoo, hoo, ha, ha, ha!). But Aragorn was determined to hand the message to his loyal subjects. He stepped up to the stage, and took a deep breath:

"Don't cry for me men of Gondor

The truth is I never left you

All through those bad times, when there was fighting

I kept my promise, to free you guys all ~

The pain that I went through

To require that Ring, to save our large lot

Would never die off, lest you forget me

My ghost then won't forgive you

So don't cry for me men of Gondor

I don't care for big crybabies

Although I'm dead now, I know that we'll live on

Just like I promised, oh, man I'm a hero!"

Aragorn bowed and stepped down. A tomato came flying and splattered on his face. Enraged, he gave a loud "YA-AAA-AAAAAAAH!" and chopped the man's head off.

== It's Gonna Rain! == (Unchanged!)

Elladan and Elrohir looked out of the window. Rain was starting to patter down vigorously.
    
    足取りも軽くして　チャオ　チャオ
    
    取るものも取り敢えず　チャオ　チャオ
    
    ライオンがうなるみたいな雷鳴が
    
    退散を促している
    
    どうなるの？
    
    そう・・・もうすぐ雨
    
    大嫌い雨なんか　チャオ　チャオ
    
    もう少し居たいのに　チャオ　チャオ
    
    快感が解散に変わる瞬間を
    
    ライオンが急がせたのは
    
    明白No! 迷惑
    
    It's gonna rain!

_________________________

Hope you had a nice day!

__________________________


End file.
